In my twenties, I solo dated a lot, even though I didn’t see it as that at the time. I started going to museums or travelling to cities alone on weekends. I dated Ny Carlsberg Glyptotek and London as often as I could. I found a comfort in doing things alone, at my own pace, choosing exactly what I wanted to do.
I remember telling someone, and they asked ‘wouldn't you rather go with someone?’, and my honest answer was ‘no’. I had found something I enjoyed doing by myself and I was actually proud of this alone capacity I had, of doing things instead of waiting to make them happen with someone. It gave a sense of power, freedom and it sparked my soul.
I noticed that solo dates were a thing when I read Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way, I fell over the concept of artist date. Suddenly, it made all made sense:
The Artist Date is a once-weekly, festive, solo expedition to explore something that interests you. The Artist Date need not be overtly “artistic”– think mischief more than mastery. Artist Dates fire up the imagination. They spark whimsy.
— Julia Cameron
Nowadays, my solo dates have been downscaled, but that does not make them any less special. Planning these small moments makes my heart full. Asking myself what I feel like doing and then making it happen, exactly how I want to, is wonderful. I end up looking forward to it for days, and sometimes it is the simplest of plans that brings forward this feeling of childish anticipation.
As I explored these solo dates, I decided to write a list, to remind myself that it doesn’t take a savings account or insane amounts of planning to make them happen.
— The list:
A walk in a place that fills your cup, and noticing that there is no rush. For me, this is either the beach or a forest.
Reading a book, where ever you find cosy, like the garden, café, beach or park.
Visiting a museum or exhibition, where you can savour everything at your own pace.
A cup of coffee at your favourite coffee shop (with or without book, journal or yarn).
Sitting or being by the sea.
Going to a bookshop and taking the time to choose a new book.
Getting a massage, a haircut, or something else that feels pampering.
Attend a workshop or a class.
Take your camera and let your awareness guide your walk.
Make a vision or mood board with scissors, magazines and glue.
Take your coffee to the park or a bench near you.
Or even a picnic.
Bake that cake or that meal you feel like eating.
Go on a seasonal scavenger hunt, it can be fruit in the summer, or leafs and conkers in autumn.
Make seasonal decorations, it can be as easy as picking flowers from the roadside.
Take your yoga mat to the beach and do your practice there.
Finding a place to calmly journal, and making it special with something that you enjoy (a blanket, warm socks, a hot cup of something).
Taking yourself out to lunch.
Going to see something that you have noticed and couldn’t stop at the time. This can be a café, a shop, a courtyard or a building, a tree or a view.
Taking the train or bus, and going to a nearby village or town, to explore.
What is your go to solo date?
I like solo dates. I like artist dates. Your post reminds me to schedule one soon. 🙂
I love to go on a solo date. I think my favourites are a walk on my own or going to a small coffee ship for a cup of tea and a little bit of reading. ❤